Let's Celebrate Janelle Monáe’s Bi Anthem

By now you've probably seen Janelle Monáe's music video for "Make Me Feel", a song from her upcoming third studio album Dirty Computer.

Everything about the video is phenomenal; from her outfits, to the lighting, to the dancing, and of course to the bi storyline which is woven throughout. Never have I seen a music video display such an empowering black, bi, female experience. That's why the song is correctly being hailed as a bi anthem.

The video manages to walk a nearly impossible tightrope. Monáe depicts bisexuality without hyper-sexualizing it. All too often, bi women are hypersexualized in media depictions (and in real life). Monáe was able to depict herself (or perhaps the character she played in the video) as a sexual being; a being embracing her bisexuality — but without falling into that hackneyed trope.

I particularly loved how playful the video was. One thing I've been focusing on in my work is balancing the positive aspects of being bi with all of the challenges bi folks face. All too often, LGBT activists, and especially bi activists, fall into the pattern of only writing about the challenges of being bi — the feelings of isolation derived from being rejected by both straight and gay communities, health disparities, biphobia, bi erasure, etc.

Don't get me wrong, all of these issues are incredibly important, and we need to discuss them if positive change is to occur. However, I feel like bi activists (myself very much included) have accidentally created a brand of victimization for ourselves. We mostly talk about the problems, less so the joys.

This may not be helpful for many members of the bi community, or for those who are looking for encouragement in their bisexuality. I could be projecting my own mindset here, but if I was someone who was unsure about whether to embrace my bisexuality, the relentless negativity would push me away. If I googled “bi” only to find pieces like, "Stop Saying These Ten Things to Bi People", and “Bisexual Women Experience Nearly Twice the Rate of Sexual Violence as Straight Women," I would sure as hell not want to embrace my bisexuality. I would think to myself, "Screw this. I'm not going to tell anyone I'm bi, and I'm going to live my life in the closet." I may even deny myself relationships with people of both sexes out of fear of being perceived as bi. Or worse... I cheat on my wife with men in the locker room sauna because I'm so desperate for the male touch, but unable to embrace my bisexuality in an open and healthy way.

It's a shame when a person decides not to embrace their authentic self. Sadly, this is the case for the majority of bi individuals.

2013 research from Pew revealed that only 28% of bi people said that most or all of the important people in their lives knew about their sexual orientation, compared to 71% of lesbians and 77% of gay men; the numbers were even smaller for bi men: Only 12% said they were out to that degree, compared to one-third of bi women.

This is why I've been trying to really focus on the positive aspects of being bi and the blessings and perks that come from embracing your bisexuality. There are so many beautiful experiences that bi people enjoy which monosexual (non-bisexual) folks will never know — the way being bi helps facilitate empathy, helps us see the world in various shades of gray, and liberates us from restrictive sexual binaries.

This is why I think the "Make Me Feel" video is so important. It celebrates bisexuality in a way that shows its playfulness. It can be fun. It can be sexual. It's not all troubles and biphobia. It's not all experiencing rejection from gay and straight communities. Bi people can be loved. We can be embraced. We can love both women and men. And we can have a fun time being who we are.

Thank you Janelle Monáe for once again being freakin' incredible.