The Unicorn Scale: Poor Things

Well, hello there, sweet Unicorns, new and experienced! So, we all have known that musical quandary of getting a song stuck in your head. Lots of people call it an earworm. Well, I’ve had the same affliction lately, but in a cinematic sense — my brain has seized on a movie that I’ve been thinking about so much it might be giving me brain rot, but in the best way. I can’t stop turning it over and over in my mind, what I love about it, what makes the whole thing work. And I figured now was the time to share that movie with you. Dudes, dudettes, and doodles, I give you... Poor Things.

But before I do! I need to give out a whole heaping piles of disclaimers. First and foremost, there will be SPOILERS in this review for the film's content. The movie is rated R, and it fully justifies that rating due to its exploration of mature themes and inclusion of harsh content. (However, this review will remain in the PG-13 realm.) If you're worried about specific content that may require a warning, you can find more information at this link. Additionally, if this is your inaugural journey into the Unicorn Scale wilderness, welcome aboard! I highly recommend reading up on the metric in question here.

All set? All right, all aboard!

Poor Things is a 2023 fantasy/comedy that focuses on the journey of Bella Baxter (Emma Stone), the Frankenstein-esque woman and creation that emerges from the work of Dr. Godwin Baxter (Willem Dafoe) and is studied by medical student Max McCandless (Ramy Youssef). Finding herself limited and controlled under the study and tutelage of McCandless and Baxter in London, Bella escapes and embarks on a fantastical journey across a Victorian steampunk phantasmagoria of Europe and North Africa (replete with airships!), often accompanied by dashing but moronic lawyer and lover Duncan Wedderburn (Mark Ruffalo). Through this trip, Bella experiences a journey of scientific discovery and the forming of her own identity and her place in the world. The movie is based on the 1992 novel of the same name by Scottish novelist Alisdair Gray.

What I Liked:

There is so, so much to explore, dissect, ruminate on, and celebrate in Poor Things. Bella Baxter, despite being a wild creation in her inception (she is, after all, with her brain being that of the fetus being used in the body of her mother who died by suicide), is a fascinating study of what it could have been like to be raised in the Victorian era as a woman without the stifling stigmas to try to be ladylike from the jump, and instead encouraged to question and explore with the mind of a scientist and explorer. Of course, since Bella is still moving through a patriarchal world, there are multiple men who want to claim ownership or control over her, which baffles her since she has grown up without that societal context. But she is brilliant, curious, darkly funny, and kindhearted in her own way when she goes beyond learning the sugar and violence of her world and develops empathy and cleverness. She possesses and runs the entire emotional gamut of humanity and comes out the other side of her story triumphantly forging her own path on her own terms.

But let’s focus on Bella’s queerness. Part of her self-discovery is her sexual self-discovery (which, admittedly, feels very male-gazey, but go with me on this), which leads her to explore the world beyond Godwin’s home and her innocent betrothal to McCandless by running away with her lover Duncan. However, after she outgrows Duncan and does become involved with female friend Toinette (Suzy Bemba), a French socialist and sex worker, it is clear Bella is still willing and eager to explore all the ups and downs of this thing called life that she finds most fascinating. (Side note: it’s wonderful to see a mainstream film in which both sides have a main character who refuses to be slut-shamed as well as take a pro-sex-worker stance.) Since we also see a postcoital scene between the two women, it seems clear that there is more than just sexual experimentation here, but friendship, love, and attraction as well.

However, in the final act, we end up seeing that neither Toinette nor men, in general, are given up on by Bella as mere experiments. In fact, when McCandless makes it clear he is still mesmerized by her but recognizes Bella’s agency over her own sexuality/body/mind/growth, she is the one who kisses him and ends up popping the question to him. Also, in the final scene with Bella’s triumph, it becomes clear that Toinette was brought back to London to become part of Bella’s highly unorthodox family. Considering Bella had Toinette moved all the way into a new country and family, it’s difficult to believe this is a “just roommates” dynamic, but rather another dimension of polyamorous companionship.

What I Didn’t Like:

I know a lot of people take umbrage with a lot of issues at play in Poor Things, including but not limited to murky waters as far as Bella’s mental age when she starts to become sexualized by the men around her, lost themes of feminism from the source material that end up becoming murky in the film adaptation, among many other things. I’m not here to dispute them. What I can say is that despite the trappings of her creation, Bella ends up becoming a fully dimensional human character in a highly fantastical setting, with her own hopes, dreams, fears, and flaws. And while I wish more of her queerness was explored and the term “bi” is never used in the script, I still find myself enchanted by (and mildly obsessed with) this bizarre conjuring of a bi character.

The Rating:

Poor Things is a daring, often hedonistic, but fully immersed wonderland of a film exploring in a totally mind-bending way what it is like to be human, to move as a woman through the world (even a heightened one), and what makes a person the person they are, even beyond their confounded creation. Bella is an utterly fascinating, rabidly curious explorer in this world — and one who is not afraid to be bi or carve out a space that suits her in a world that wants to muzzle and contain her. While it is very adult fare, the film is a marvel and very much worth a watch. But be forewarned — it will probably make such an impression that your brain will continue to pull it apart for weeks, like a dazzling but demented taffy.