Why do bi people need to come out in the first place? Can’t they keep their sex lives to themselves?

Coming out is about living with integrity, and connecting openly and honestly with others as your true self.

This is a common attitude among straight people of a certain age. What it fails to appreciate is that living in a mostly straight society, straight people have never faced legal or social punishment for their sexuality, have never had to be closeted, and are rarely assumed to be the wrong sexuality. This attitude also applies a double standard to LGBT people, where a straight woman casually speaking about her husband is a perfectly benign expression, but a bisexual man talking about his boyfriend is somehow shoving his sex life in everyone’s faces.

Coming out is not about flaunting your sex life or airing private matters. Coming out is about putting an end to the lies required to hide your sexual orientation and being honest with those around you. Hiding your sexuality requires an ever-growing web of careful pronoun changes, deliberate omissions, and strategic misrepresentations. Not only does it get tiring, but all that dishonesty creates barriers between you and other people. All that deception is bad for your self-esteem and for your state of mind.

Coming out is about living with integrity, and connecting openly and honestly with others as your true self.