Sam Jenkins

Even though I enjoy my life, I can’t say that I’ve ever felt like I really fit in. I live in Bakersfield, California and it is a very conservative area. I am also from a generation that seldom talks about orientation positively, especially if it is related to people in this generation. Central to my existence is my love of creativity. I look for that creativity in the minds and hearts of all people.

Being bisexual is a part of the way I see the world. If I am attracted to a person socially, I am most likely attracted to them sexually as well but that does not mean I act inappropriately. I have found being bisexual as lonely for I do not have any bisexual friends. I would love to meet other bisexuals for conversation and socialization.

I first wish that my gay friends would accept and embrace bisexuality. Their rejection hurts more than the rejection of straight people. I wish people in general could understand that orientation and sexual attraction is not always based on a preference of genitalia. If I am attracted to a person, I will enjoy them, all of them.

I discovered my bisexuality in my early thirties. I was asked to hang out with a gay friend. We went to dinner and then just laid on his bed while he told me stories of his trips to Europe. Afterward, I realize how good it felt laying beside him and casually touching. I felt comfortable and excited being casually intimate with him. It surprised me that I felt just like I would have felt if he was a woman. After fighting through the confusion, I accepted my bisexuality. Even though I have never been in a long term relationship with a man, I know I am bisexual. However, even after over 30 years of knowing I am bisexual few of my friends know.

It is tough being casually hidden. I will tell anyone my orientation if they ask our it seems appropriate but those occasions seldom happen in my world. I know no other bisexuals in my community and thus, I feel quite isolated. At age sixty two, I seldom meet people who want to talk and explore their sexuality openly.

In my thirties, my bisexuality opened me up to experiences I would have never enjoyed if i was straight or gay. I have always enjoyed falling in love with a woman and courting her. But, in my thirties, an older man fell for me and courted me. That was delightful! I also had the chance to be involved in a few threesomes that were also fun. I loved the wonderful feeling of being openly bisexual and accepted by both genders. Currently, I find no perks to my bisexuality.

The people closest to me are not surprised that I am bisexual. I have been told by some gay friends that they were waiting for me to "get off the fence and come out as gay". No close friends have ever talked to me about my orientation.