S.K. Box

I teach young children. I’ve been working in an American preschool for about a year, but before that, I was an English teacher in Taiwan for about twenty years. I spent most of my adult life over there, and only returned to life in the USA about two years ago. People regard me warily when I tell them I lived in a foreign country for so long. They don’t know how to identify with that. When they learn that I am bisexual, the gap seems to widen between us. Additionally, I am an introverted person, somewhat socially awkward, but loving and sensitive. All of these things can be difficult. But I’m generally optimistic, tolerant, and forgiving, and I love existence, so life = good.

Well – I am attracted to both men and women. I have a lot more sexual experience with men – because they’re so easy, to be honest. But my heart’s desire is to find the right girl to settle down with. I feel like I connect more with women, and, unfortunately, I have a healthier attitude toward women in general. I have more respect for women, more desire to connect with women on a deeper level, and I dream of a partnership with a woman in a way that never enters my head regarding men. However, it can be confusing, because I am more visually stimulated by men: more likely to notice a hot man, more turned on by hetero or gay porn, etc. I don’t tend to think about sex with women until I’m already emotionally attracted to one. But then – the sex itself is more awesome, prolonged, and satisfying with women. It’s what I want at a deeper level.

Bisexuals exist, and we don’t stop being bi just because we’re in a relationship with a certain sex.

I was brought up in a homophobic household, in a homophobic community, and, to a certain extent, adopted those ideas myself as a teenager. But I was so, so in love with my best female friend. Everyone knew it or suspected it, I learned later. I was also in love with my best male friend, though. I clung to this, and my heterosexual identity, for years. rnI didn’t have any real relationships in school, got my first boyfriend at the age of 21. Had several boyfriends after that, even a husband, but I always felt that there was something missing, emotionally. Then l I met an incredible woman a the age of 27. I fell madly in love with her, and when we had sex, it was like a huge revelation to me. Oooooh, I thought, I’m a lesbian! Everything makes so much more sense now! I can’t believe how much I’ve repressed this and hidden this truth from myself all these years! rnAnd I resolved never to hide from myself ever again. rnI identified as lesbian for a couple of years, until the girl broke my heart into a million pieces and I started getting really promiscuous with men just to fuzz out the pain. rnIt was then, of course, that I realized that of course I am not lesbian at all, but fully bisexual. Since then, I have continued to have occasional sexual relationships with men, and a few full-on emotional and sexual relationships with women. rnBeen alone for a while now though.

Reconciling my animal sexual urges toward men with my romantic and spiritual urges toward women.

The world is full of attractive people.

Most seem to accept it, some have been surprised at my obviously bisexual behavior, saying things like “I didn’t think bisexuals really exist!”. Some people are wary, especailly lesbians, and of course, there are still folks who are downright homophobic.