Fred Hernandez

I’ll begin by saying that I knew I was bisexual at the end of 2013, and came out in February 2014. I live in the state of California and attend college, majoring in marketing. Hobbies: I enjoy spending time with my friends, the outdoors, doing something different each day, I don’t like routine. However, if things are fun, we can repeat it again. I enjoy and love rollerblading, one of my favorite sports are hiking, and biking. I enjoy reading, it’s like having a TV in your mind (by the way, I don’t watch TV) where you can imagine the characters and settings as you prefer. I also like writing. I’m trying hard to write a novel about youth life, which includes many topics and issues to discuss about… People tell me that I’m very mature for my age, well, it all started when I was 11 years old in a small town in Mexico. I was almost victim of bullying, because I had different beliefs and ways of thinking, so as I was treated differently, my maturity kept growing faster, and soon, I would understand life from other perspectives. Also, it may be that I like hanging out with people older than me, since I was a kid, I liked to talked and be friends with adults. I think I was living life faster and knowing things beyond my age. However, I don’t regret anything, because this is what has shaped my life and the person who I am now. I’m friendly, a nice person to meet, and I’ll be there for any person who needs my help.

It doesn’t necessarily have to mean something. I just found that it is possible to love someone, not because of their religion, their race, their gender… We are all are humans, and we are all the same, so why not love a person who is the same sex as you as loving a person with the opposite sex. And this is really awkward for me, because I used to say that I hate people, because of their inmature way of thinking, the behaviors, all bad things humans do. But without noticing, I realized that I love people more than what I thought, because I’m always there helping someone else, man or woman, they are all the same for me. So yes, being bisexual means loving other human beings no matter their background, and having a romance and living happily with the one you have chosen.

Being bisexual is not being a person who is confused with his or her sexual preferences, it’s loving all people on Earth equally without any limitations, no matter if it’s a boy or a girl, they are the same. Because we as bisexuals don’t focus on their physical appearance, or what their sex is but on their personality, their way of being, expressing, their maturity and open-mind of seeing the world, and finally, the person who we fall in love with because of what he or she makes us feel either man or woman. I respect everyone’s opinion, but if you don’t respect mine (or ours), should I (we) respect yours?

As I said, it all started when I was 11 years old, getting to know more about life and being mature at a young age, but actually I didn’t know about bisexuality until the years passed and I got older and older. At first classmates and people would tell me all the times that I was gay and say insults which I mostly ignored. When I was in my teen years, and living in a small town where people will gossip about others lives, I didn’t want to be judged by others and being fresh meat for possible bullying. So I was avoiding or didn’t want to be gay. I had friends that were gay, and started to hang with them, but I wasn’t gay at the moment, nor bisexual. My mother prohibited me to hang out with them because of their sexual preferences. She only didn’t want the town to gossip about me, or about her, having a “gay” son..? Either way, that small town sure was close minded. In high school, I liked many girls, but I began to be interested in boys as well, but it wasn’t something sexual, I only enjoyed seeing them. It all started when I used to hang out with a friend. She had a bisexual friend, 10 years older than me, and he started to hang out with us. By then I was 16-17. We hung out every single day, and we stared to drink alcohol almost every single day, but limited. One night the three of us stayed in my home, by then I used to live alone, we drunk alcohol that night and wanted to relax for a while. It was midnight, I took my friend to her house and let my other “friend” sleep in my house. When I returned, he woke up and asked me to give him company, he said he needed to go to his house, and I told him it was ok for him to pass the night at my house. We were both in the bed, and he started to hug me, and soon he kissed me, I responded to that kiss, after I while, I told him to stop, and I cried that night. Few days later, I started to like him, and we started dating. But I stopped dating him because I didn’t want something with him. However I had the idea of being bisexual. Here is when I knew I was bisexual. After few years later, at the age of 20, I tried to maintain being heterosexual, and even had a girlfriend I loved, and if things kept going better, I also considered marring her, but she broke up with me because we started to have many problems. I was also having many gay and bisexual friends. I was curious by then, of what it was like being with another guy. I knew I was bisexual last year, after being with a guy, and he helped me discover my identity. I don’t regret it, because it was an experience and a chance of letting me know who I really was. I started dating other guys, but I wasn’t prepared to start a new relationship, so I didn’t want any boyfriend nor girlfriend. I wanted to be single for ever. Until… I was in search for new friends (gay and bisexual) near me, since I moved. I found an interesting guy who I was amazed by. We started a relationship and that I enjoyed. So now, I can say I’m bisexual.

Well, I this question is very difficult to answer, because I think bisexuals, as gays, live a tough life trying to survive from those people who are against our sexual preferences or thoughts. But I think that for all of us coming out was the toughest thing we had ever done, trying to come out, or willing to come out. But hey, there is a wonderful world out there, and people and real friends who will accept you as you are and that they will be there for you. And this happens because we are afraid of what people say, what they will think, that they would judge us. But hey, happiness depends on us, not on what other people thinks or want us to think is correct. Also, telling our family, parents and siblings, mostly parents, when the time comes to tell them, it can feel like we are between life and death. And afraid if they will accept us or not. But if your parents really love you, they will accept you as who you are, their child, their baby, the little human who they carried and educated and took care of. At the beginning it can be hard, but they will accept you as the days pass, because they will realize that their love for you is bigger than anything, and they will need you forever.

That I can live happy and freely instead of hiding who I am because of what others would think about me. And that I can love anybody no matter who they are, because we are the same, even in the bible states that God loves us equally.

I’m actually telling others I’m Bisexual. I thought It was time to get out from the closet and let people know who I am. So far, my closest friends accepted me, and they are even happy with my new relationship, with my Boyfriend, who is also bisexual, and we have a wonderful time spending time together, enjoying each other. Those who are your FRIENDS will accept you, the person who you are, no matter your sexual preferences. God gave me the best friends I can trust in, and who will be there for me, for anything, as I will be there for them.