Baby Reindeer (2024) is a limited drama series that aired on Netflix. The seven hourlong episodes follow the story of Donny Dunn (Richard Gadd, who wrote and created the series, playing a fictionalized version of himself), a bartender and aspiring stand-up comedian, as he is relentlessly stalked by Martha Scott (Jessica Gunning), a woman he took pity on when she came into his bar crying, offering her a free drink.
As the harassment intensifies, Donny is forced to confront a deeply buried trauma that influences his reactions to the stress Martha brings into his life — a trauma tied to his former mentor, TV writer Darrien O’Connor (Tom Goodman-Hill). The series is partially based on Gadd’s life and originally began as a one-man show at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival before moving to the West End for its London run.
First off, Baby Reindeer comes with just about every trigger warning imaginable. While there are some laughs, this is a pitch-black psychological drama that often delves into bleak territory.
In the first half of the series, the audience sees Donny enjoying Martha’s initial attention while also clearly feeling drawn to Terri (Nava Mau), a trans therapist he meets on a dating site. However, his understanding of his sexuality evolves later in the show.
In Episode 4, flashbacks reveal that Darrien—who initially mentors Donny—eventually grooms and sexually assaults him. It’s only after these traumatic experiences that Donny begins openly discussing his attraction to men. In the latter half of the series, he repeatedly identifies as “bisexual,” marking a significant shift in how he perceives and expresses his sexuality.
Baby Reindeer is a deeply unsettling but important story that explores issues such as internalized biphobia, sexual abuse and grooming within the queer community, drug use during queer sex, consent, and toxic masculinity. Central to the narrative is Donny’s queer awakening, triggered by Darrien’s abusive sexual dynamic with him. This trauma shapes Donny’s worldview and sends him into a psychological tailspin, leading him to question himself and fueling his sense of self-loathing.
Gadd, who is bi, has spoken extensively about being bi and wanting that represented in Baby Reindeer and why. From an interview with The Independent:
I never wanted to be a man with a clarion in his mouth, sort of bellowing at people. But yeah – the bisexual reality, I did want people to pick up on. I think it is unrepresented. Not just on screen but in life in general. There’s no real hard community or identity in the public sphere for bisexual people to go to. There’s an indoctrination you can get from a young age – [the idea] that you have to be one or the other. Sometimes, that pressure can come from both sides. There is still this notion that if you’re a man and you’ve slept with a man, then there’s no going back. It’s rubbish.
And for Vanity Fair:
A lot of people don’t fit into gay, straight, bisexual — they actually go through life questioning and wrestling with it almost the whole time. When I was going through everything in my early 20s, I remember fundamentally feeling confused: “Okay, today I’m going to go down the street, and I’m going to be straight today.” “Okay, that didn’t work. I still don’t feel good, so I’m going to get up, and I’m going to be gay today.” “Okay, I’m going to get up, and I’m going to be bi.” None of the labels sat right with me. […] When it comes to his sense of self, there is no clear answer or definition. Donny struggles with himself in every single respect… Offering a lack of clarity around that area might provide comfort to people who spend their lives in a state of uncertainty.
While some reviews have accused Baby Reindeer of conflating queerness with the sexual abuse that Donny’s character experienced at the hands of Darrien, it should be noted that Netflix worked for years with consultants to make sure that things were sensitively but honestly portrayed, particularly for Donny’s story and struggles. One of the cruxes of the story — and an unfortunate truth — is that the show gets at a common and sad reality for many queer men, which is that almost half of queer men in the UK have experienced similar episodes of sexual assault.
Not all is doom and gloom. In the final episode, there’s a beautiful scene where Donny comes out to his parents after his breakdown on stage goes viral. While Baby Reindeer is by no means an easy watch, it is an important one. It sheds light on the traumas and internal struggles that queer men who have experienced rape and grooming may face, allowing their stories to be told without stigma. Though the bi male representation is uncomfortable, it is crucial and well-developed.
