Hey there, cats and jammers! My queers with beers! (Or with lemonade, if you’re sober or underage, as that feels like the lemon bar equivalent.) My fabulous unicorns!
This time around, we’ve curated a fantastic playlist, packed with songs that are sure to brighten your day. Whether you’re hanging out with friends or enjoying some solo time, these tunes are perfect for adding a little extra joy to your routine.
Oh, a few quickies before we hit the road. First off, there will be SPOILERS for the media I’m chatting about, but since they’re all so short the links will be right there so you can give them a gander before reading my reviews. Also if this is your first time in this stretch of the bi beach that is the Unicorn Scale, you may want to take a gander at our metric here first so you know the shorthand.
Ok, got your sunscreen? Extra water to stay hydrated? Spare batteries for the portable speaker? Then ready, steady, go!
1) Janelle Monáe, “Lipstick Lover” (NOTE: video NSFW)
Okay, I’ll be honest with you — I was starting to wonder if I had covered every queer ditty under the sun. And then Monáe dropped this absolute dime piece of a song to kick off the hottest season of the year. It’s got everything — multiple genders partying and getting down, beautiful boobs and booties, and more queer gazes than you can shake a stick at. And if you think that the musician didn’t know exactly what they were doing — they directed the damn music video, too.
Tag yourself — I want to say I’m the luscious lady on the inflatable lip floatie, but in reality I’m the girl eating pizza.
2) Gucci “Guilty” ad with Elliot Page
This is at least the third time a queer gaze has hit hard lately in a high-end fashion campaign that I’ve covered, and at least the second time an allusion to a queer trio has been made. At least this one seems to be both glitzy, glamorous, and have a happy ending. Kind of saying the quiet parts of Far From Heaven out loud, but whilst perfectly poised over some perfume bottles.
3) Adeem the Artist, “For Judas”
Slowing it down a bit here to get into a more rustic addition to the queer oeuvre is this bluegrass-y number from up-and-comer Adeem. A true storyteller, “For Judas” is rich with images and metaphors spanning both the timeline of Adeem’s doomed love, specifically queer feelings (of daring to date and love in public), and the haunted detailing of someone who hated how things ended but still wants to remember every moment of it.
I’m a sucker for any narrative where someone comes into their own, and Bennett’s “Be Yourself” is no exception. With an unshakeable faith in himself and all the facets of the diamond that he is (remember: diamonds take pressure), Bennet concocts a breath-defying manifesto about who he is, what he’s been through, and how no one will stop him from being who he wants to be. And hey, he even proudly drops the B-word while he’s spttin’! (“Bisexual,” of course, not the other b-word.)
5) Berlin, “Sex (I’m A...)”
Just in case anyone wants to keep up that old argument that bisexuality is a new thing, here’s this throwback to 1983 and that runaway hit you keep hearing on the radio and forgetting you love it, Berlin’s “Sex (I’m A…)” Not just a perfect choice for a karaoke duet where neither person can really sing, but a dirty little ditty that beats Meredith Brooks’ famous listicle song by a good decade. Amongst all the multitudes that the singers belt are within them, they very clearly and distinctly at least question if they’re bi. So I wouldn’t say fully bi, but big ol’ points for daring to put that on the radio during the homophobic Reagan Administrating.
6) Ahli, “Girls Kissing Girls”
Rounding us out is another summery song from up-and-comer non-binary artist, Ahli. I’m a sucker for synth, and its catchy chorus resides somewhere between classic bi bops of Blur’s “Girls & Boys” and Ingrid Michaelson’s “Girls Chase Boys” — both noted favorites of this column! What’s not to love? Grab your GI Joes and Barbies and dolls and make them all make out. We love a lovefest — especially a queer one.
Well there you have it, cats and jammers! Hopefully that will tide you over til the next volume hits the digital shelves. Until then — don’t forget to charge those earbuds, and make sure to get your hearing checked at regular intervals.