Celebrating Bi Visibility Month On Your Terms

Hey howdy hey, my fellow bi babes! It’s a good day to be bi, isn’t it? Well, I mean, every day is great to be bi. Let’s be honest: it’s fabulous to step into and own our sexuality — no matter what level of outness we’re at! Good thing there’s not only a day for us to celebrate and be visible but a week and a whole darn month! So let’s talk about Bi Visibility Day/Week/Month, and how you can celebrate — no matter if you’re still in the closet, peeking out to test the waters, or burst through singing show tunes and left only timbers in your wake.

Before we get into that nitty-gritty, let’s talk about the dates in question, what it is, how it started, and why it’s so gosh-darn important.

So first, let’s go over the timeframes!

Bi Visibility Day: September 23rd

Bi Visibility Week: September 17th-23rd

Bi Visibility Month: You guessed it — September!

So how did this come about? Well, in 1999 at a bi convention, after some grousing about the fact that bis often were involved in the activism to win rights to the LGBT population, they were still often getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop as far as visibility. In response, the activists decided to react in celebration and select a day in September (Freddie Mercury’s birth month) to instead choose joy. That day ended up being September 23rd, and everything else stemmed from there. Which means Bi Visibility Day has been going strong for a solid 23 years!

But why is it so important? Some may say that we should just enjoy Pride in June and not take extra time from the calendar (I’m sure even some would call the move “greedy” under their breaths — such a played-out stereotype for us). But, quite frankly, they’d be wrong. Since our community is more likely to face particular challenges on medical fronts, government presence, and cultural representation (both historical and entertainment) without bi erasure, we deserve to take a minute to celebrate how far we’ve come, who we are, and what we can achieve together if we continue as a movement. We’re a badass group that can see the beauty in so many people, we’ve been here since the jump, and we’ve contributed a ton to both activist causes and society as a whole — we deserve a moment to let our sparkle shine.

So with that being said, what are some ways you can celebrate? Not everyone is out (or can safely do so), so I want to honor that and make sure to offer multiple options at a variety of mobility and price point levels so you can boost your badass bi self, no matter where you are on your queerness journey. I’ll go from more private to more public levels of outness as I enumerate ways to celebrate. Cool? Cool beans.

If you’re in the closet or want to come out but don’t feel like you can safely do so in any of your circles, first and foremost: You are SO valid. You don’t have to have a proven dating history of dating more than one gender, either! This is about attraction, not action (though hey, action can be fun, too! But not necessary as an entry fee to the bi community). Can you dig more than one gender? Fab, you’re #OneofUs!

And remember: The only person you owe outness to is yourself. Not your mama, not your boss — just you. Anyone else you feel comfortable enough to let know is lucky to know this element about you, point blank and the period. But more than anything, we owe ourselves honesty — even if it’s quietly saying to ourselves we’re bi just enough to make the air around us move.

OK. So here are some of the more private ways you can celebrate this special time without making waves:

Research your favorite bi artists or historical figures! 

Lots of info is available online — including on this website! You’ll be gobsmacked to find out how many of us there are in your favorite media and throughout history. (Just don’t forget to clear your browser history if you’re using a shared computer!) If you can sneak a book into the house, consider reading up on a queer memoir or biography! Reading how they moved through their fluid life may inspire you — or just make you feel more affirmed.

Talk in queer spaces! 

There are plenty of spaces online where you can do so, free of charge. Or check out if you can go in person to a local support center in your city! (Not every city has this, I know, which is why online is always an option.) Holding space and taking up space with your peers can really ground you in ways I can barely even begin to describe. You can often choose your level of anonymity as well in these spaces.

Take in some affirming bi media! 

And boy do we have a whole passel of suggestions for you under the Unicorn Scale category here. A lot of these options are available on streaming sources (don’t have those? Ask at your local library if they have the media on hand or if they can get you set up with the free streaming app, Kanopy.) It doesn’t matter how many times I see different parts (or even chunks!) of my bi experience reflect back to me from the silver screen — it always gives me a thrill to be part of the celluloid tales we tell ourselves.

Okay, so maybe you’re out, but don’t wanna be like waving semaphore flags out? No problem, I gotchu.

Merchandise! 

Look, I don’t always like to spend my money on shiny objects, but sometimes I do! And with the gorgeousness that is the bi pride flag colors, you can show off your pride at whatever level you like! Maybe it’s a little bi flag for your desk — at home, or in the office. Maybe it’s a ring with the colors on display, or a t-shirt with a joke. Trust me — those who know what those colors mean will get it. And then you can talk about it as much or as little as you want if they bring it up! Because sometimes queer-coding is fun if we do it on our own terms.

Make sure the community is included in the conversation! 

This can be as simple as gently correcting someone assuming an actor is straight when they’re actually bi (Alan Cumming is a common example), or making sure that pronouns line up with what people want to be called/identify as. You can talk about yourself and your own orientation as much or as little as you like — it’s completely in your control.

Just remember that any form of being bi is a form of activism, and it’s valid as all hell. Just be mindful of if the conversation will take up too much of your emotional labor or spoons — fight the fights you wanna fight. We’re all grown-ups here and we get to choose how we engage with the world.

Sing a love song at karaoke and don’t change the pronouns! 

This is also great if you’re in your car. It’s one of the fun things about being bi and especially in karaoke circles it’s common to not change the pronouns, so it’s no big deal. But maybe it is to you — and that’s great!

Okay, so maybe you’re obnoxiously out! Faboo! Whatcha wanna do?

Head to a Bi Visibility event! 

Yes, these are a thing! They are SO a thing! Maybe you’ve got a local celebration you can join, like Bi Pride in WeHo. Maybe you’re at points beyond. There are lots of places celebrating!

Get a tattoo with Bi Pride!

Now this one is for the truly, fully out who wanna show that pride on their body forever and ever amen! I admit this isn’t for everyone. It may not even be allowed by your way of life. Or maybe you wanna get one that is just in a spot where you can see it when you’re on your own. Those are all cool with me! And it’s okay if you don’t want that, either. We’re just spitballing here! But take comfort that, if you do, you definitely won’t be alone in showing it off — and that’s spectacular! (Please note: Also feel free to get a temporary tattoo to display — that’s fine and dandy with me!

OVERALL REMEMBER: 

Make it your own form of joyous celebration. This observation is still a new one and isn’t bogged down in any old-school traditions. Revel in that. Make it your own day. Maybe it means rewatching Schitts Creek while you swipe on a dating app. Maybe it means putting together a playlist of your favorite queer artists. Whatever you do, just take a moment to immerse yourself in the affirmation of a really cool part of who you are. Even if it’s for five seconds, even if it’s for five days. Seize this time. Because it’s a damn good time to be bi.

Now: Engage. And feel free to laugh it up, too.