Pride is the ultimate celebration of the LGBT community, commemorating the movement spurred on by those brave people who stood up for their human rights at the Stonewall Inn in 1969. I haven't been to a Pride celebration since I came out a little over two years ago, but I have been to one before, and it had a profound impact on me.
It was during the summer I spent in NYC, working as an intern and staying in the NYU dorms, which just so happened to be on the same street that the Pride parade went down. At this point in my life, I knew that I was bi, I just hadn't come out yet. So, I didn't make any plans with friends that day; I wasn't even intending to go down to the parade. However, even hours before the parade began, there was such excitement in the air that I couldn’t resist heading down to at least see how the day would develop.
I found a spot on a corner right outside my dorm and stood there for hours, watching as hundreds of people paraded by in ways that I had literally never seen before. There were amazingly outrageous costumes, incredible floats, and beautifully choreographed dancing. However, as fantastic as all of those were, the most striking part of the celebration was all of the people celebrating Pride and coming together to love and support each other in countless ways.
Some people marching in the parade were doing so for political reasons, others simply for fun — but all were proud. There were some more subtle participants in the crowd, not marching along but still showing support and pride in their own way, like the two men standing near me, who were simply holding hands, calmly watching the parade with smiles on their faces. Or the pair of women standing together, one with a little girl holding an "I Love My Mommies!" sign on her shoulders.
For someone like me, a person from small-town Middle America who grew up with a virtually non-existent LGBT community, it was life-changing. That day inspired me. I wanted to be a person who lived without fear; someone who could offer my support and participation in both Pride and other events throughout the year. It was only a few months later that I came out, and NYC Pride unquestionably helped me get to that point.
In the time since I came out, due to unfortunate timing issues, I have yet to make it to another Pride celebration as an out and proud participant. Fortunately, the stars have aligned this year and I will be attending my first Pride in my new home, Chicago.
Needless to say, I'm excited.
However, I'm not entirely sure what to expect. Part of me wonders if I have romanticized the idea of Pride since my one experience, particularly as someone who identifies as bi. Will I be accepted? Or will people have an issue with me "not committing" (as it has been put to me before by a gay man) to the gay community?
I know that Pride, and the LGBT community more generally, do not always live up to their ethos of inclusivity. As a bi man, I have faced these kinds of issues all too often. Sadly, in some cases, I've seen people leave the idea of Pride behind and no longer participate because of how they have been treated.
Maybe it's naïve of me, but I don't believe that leaving the celebration will solve these issues; it'll only further the divide. Maybe my tune will change after my first Pride experience, but in its very essence, Pride is about celebrating who you are and being proud; there has to be a place in that for everyone, right? If not, create one for yourself and others like you.
It truly is heartbreaking to think that people go to Pride and feel left out or ostracized; I know I have felt that way several times as a bi man. But Pride is the one place where I plan on not letting any of the naysayers get me down. Pride is not the time to be judgmental, mean, or anything other than supportive.
I’m excited for this new Pride experience without a doubt, but I can't pretend there isn't a bit of nervousness, too. I hope I can dance, sing, revel with friends, and enjoy being in a space free from stigma. My first experience, when in the closet, was transformative, I can only hope the first time attending as an out and proud bi man will be just as exhilarating.