Sometimes we are introduced to the greatest historical figures in the most unusual ways. I first found out about today’s subject from a frozen treat.
When I was growing up, whenever there was a hot day — a rare thing in my town — I would get an Otter Pop. Otter Pops are long, skinny tubes of shaved ice that come in different fruit flavors, and the tubes look like — you guessed it — sea otters. Each flavor features an otter whose name is a pun on a kind of fruit — which led me to ask my parents who Alexander the Grape was.
I can’t say anything for the sea otter, but the human counterpart was one of the biggest conquerors of the ancient world, a Greek king whose empire spanned all the way south into Egypt and as far east as modern-day India — all by the time of his death at 32. His reign was incredibly consequential, with increased communication between Europe and Asia and many of the cities he founded becoming cultural centers — some of which are still around today.
And he was bi.
Born in 356 B.C.E., Alexander III of Macedon, commonly known as Alexander the Great, was a son of Philip II, the king of Macedon, and Olympia, a clever queen who saw that her son could be a great leader (and never hesitated to tell him as much). Alexander both revered his father for his conquests and resented him for his long absences from his life on his military campaigns. Tutored by Aristotle for three years until he was 16, Alexander received a world-class education in a litany of subjects and skills, especially taking great admiration and inspiration from the story of Achilles in Homer’s The Iliad.
When Alexander was 19, King Philip was assassinated by the captain of his bodyguards at a wedding feast. But Alexander’s succession to the throne was not without blood — both he and Olympia made sure to dispose of politicians and even relatives who were rumored to be groomed to take the crown. With the news of the death of Philip, many states began to revolt, particularly Thebes. Instead of responding to this with diplomacy, Alexander and his cavalry rode to the region and massacred their troops. It was his hope that this would be seen by the other city-states as an example and a warning, and it proved to be quite effective — if devastating.
Alexander’s military conquests are legendary. During the 330s his reign spread eastward, going through and taking over Turkey and down into Babylon (modern-day Iraq), declaring himself the king of Persia. Not satisfied, in 331 Alexander made his way down to Egypt and seized it, founding the city of Alexandria which remains to this day. During the 320s, Alexander headed back east towards Iran and got as far east as northern India before being impressed by the fall of King Porus that he reinstated him.
Back in Iran, he attempted to make many of his generals and noblemen marry Persian women to ensure his long-term grip on the region. Insatiable, Alexander set his sights on regions near the Ganges River but was stopped only by the refusal of his soldiers to go any farther and he started heading back west. By this time, he had amassed one of the greatest empires the world by that time had ever seen.
But what of his bisexuality? Well, Alexander married three times — the first time to Roxana out of love, and twice more to Persian princesses Stateira II and Parysatis II for political gain (note: father Philip also had a bunch of wives, so monogamy wasn’t necessarily the order of the day) as well as the Persian mistress Barsine, siring at least two sons with Roxana. Perhaps most notable is his relationship with Hephaestion, a Macedonian general and his boyhood friend. Hephaestion also learned from Aristotle and worked with Alexander through his ascension to the throne, the expansion of his empire, and countless battles.
Hephaestion was, by all accounts, Alexander’s dearest friend and often considered to be his lover. The historian Aelian reports that when the two men visited Troy, Alexander “garlanded the tomb of Achilles, and Hephaestion that of Patroclus, the latter hinting that he was a beloved of Alexander, in just the same way as Patroclus was of Achilles.” When Hephaestion died suddenly in 324 B.C.E., Alexander put on a funeral that would gobsmack even the most modern sensibilities of opulence. Running into the cost of what today would be the equivalent of a quarter of a billion dollars, the devastated Alexander drove the funeral carriage in part himself back to Babylon, held funeral games in his honor which involved thousands of contestants across multiple disciplines, and constructed a funeral pyre nearly 200 feet tall, hollowed out at one level so a choir could sing a lament.
Eight months later, Alexander took ill after a night of drinking wine and, after about two weeks, passed away. To this day, the cause of his death remains a mystery ― some contend he contracted malaria or typhoid fever, and others argue he was killed by a drawn-out poisoning from the wine. It remains one of the great mystery deaths of the ancient world. In the wake of his passing, his mighty empire collapsed with its originally colonized inhabitants fighting to reclaim their sovereignty.
Though his life ended more than two thousand years ago, the reach of Alexander’s legacy extends throughout history and even into today. Both Caesar and Napoleon were awed by his doings and cited him as inspiration in their own conquests for power and resources. His military campaigns and methods are still studied in military academies worldwide. His relationships with his wives and Hephaestion prove that not only was he bi, but that, despite what haters, pundits, and comment sections like to say, bi people have been around for a long time — and will continue to do so. Maybe even another one of us will inspire a whole new popsicle.
One final thing: If you are curious to learn more about this famed conqueror (like the fact that he named over twenty cities after himself and even one after his horse or that a story of him interacting with a philosopher is still a great joke), I highly encourage you to consider this article a taster about Alexander’s life. Please feel free to explore his journey online and at your local library.