September has arrived at last, the best month of the year!
There are so many reasons to love this month: the weather is cooling back down to a sane temperature; you can wear layers without looking suspicious or dying of heatstroke; it gets dark before 9 pm; you can start hanging out those Halloween decorations; and it’s Bi Pride Month. That's right, we get an entire month to go absolutely bonkers in Yonkers about being bi.
There are lots of parties on, of course. But this bi babe has the scoop on how you can celebrate this Bi Pride Month even if you are more of an introvert or a homebody.
1. Decorate
We bi people have the best color scheme. Pink, purple, and blue are not only our official colors, but, quite frankly, the most aesthetic colors. Show the world your pride by decorating your patio with a bi flag, or flowers (real or fake) in the bi colors. Get some chalk and make your own bi-colored symbols. Have a car? Get a bumper sticker to remind people who are riding your ass in traffic that gender is irrelevant to your attraction! Find a tree stump from the woods and bedazzle a bi heart onto it. Purchase washable paint for your windows and write a daily pun for passersby (passers-bi?) to groan at. If you want to be a little extra, maybe get some bi lighting for your home.
If you own your home, why not paint your whole house bi? You could even dip yourself in the leftover paint and create bi paint angels on your driveway.
2. Change Up Your WiFi
Nothing screams bisexuality like a good, full-hearted grunt over a devastatingly horrible pun. This is the gift that will keep on giving, especially if you have people coming to your house or live in an apartment building full of folks trying to borrow your Wifi. Why not take a moment to remind everyone of your love of puns and ability to see romantic potential in humans regardless of what’s in their underpants? Here are a few potential network names to inspire you:
BiFi
StandBi
I Now Pronounce You Man and WiFi
99 Problems But WiFi Ain’t One
Lord of the Pings
Router! I Hardly Knew Her!
Winternet is Coming
BIte me
I Believe Wi Can Fi
LAN Solo
Lord Voldemodem
and my favorite... Wham Bam Thank You LAN!
3. Get a Chair
Look, I know this is hard to accept, but some of us have dreadful posture. It’s time to replace your current seat and get a new chair with proper support. Maybe you’ve been resting your foot on the arm or sit backward while exerting too much pressure on one side. If your chair is on its deathbed, this is the ideal time to spoil yourself with the chair of your dreams. You can buy a fancy office chair with brilliant lumbar support — or you can continue your chaotic good lifestyle and build your own personalized bi chair like the one this father created for his bi daughter.
4. Bake (or Buy) Some Lemon Bars
September is a month that refuses to pick a season, just as lemon bars embrace the best of sweet and sour. Why not learn how to create a scrumptious bi snack (other than yourself, of course)? The kitchen can be a confusing place, so here's a recipe to ease you into your newfound lemon journey.
5. Bi Up Your Style
Have you ever been told that you don’t look bisexual? Well here are some sure-fire ways to let strangers on the street know your sexual orientation right away. Ask your grandfather for his beaten-up flannels, which were on their way to the donation center. Break those jeans out of the closet and cuff them whenever you leave the house, and don’t forget to tuck in your shirt! Want to change up your hair? Why not test out the timeless bi bob or the beneficial both-ways freedom of a half-shaved head! To make it extra spicy, you can dye it a fun and unnatural color. Why not dye it the colors of the bi flag? For a more permanent change, consider a tattoo that encompasses a personal hobby or favorite animal in bi colors.
6. Consume Some Bi Media
Whether you love burying your nose into a thicc, bodacious book or comic, binge-watching countless seasons of a 90s sitcom, or diving into a juicy adventure game — Bi.org is your one-stop shop for all things related to bi media.
We have Unicorn Scales rating movies, shows, poetry, games, comics, and even music! If that is STILL not enough, browse the famous bis and bi characters sections and learn about all the bi people, past and present. There are some wild bi people whose stories history buffs will adore dipping into, as well as some knee-slapping stand-up comedians guaranteed to give your abs a workout. You can read about all things designed to touch your bi heart, whichever fandom you are part of, RIGHT HERE ON THIS VERY SITE!
7. Spend Some Time in Biami
It can be rough being a lone bi person, but there is a bi community out there. See if there’s an amBi chapter in your town, or even start your own! Don’t have time to assemble a local bi clan? Consider joining our online Facebook group, where thousands of bi people have found friendship and greet each other with finger guns! You can throw on your best lewk every weekend on the fun and ever-changing selfie thread, join a Zoom group chat for virtual happy hour, share memes, or simply sit and chat in the comments sections of the countless posts about bi life that appear there every day.
8. Stitch Bi Stitch
Keep your mind sharp and find a clever way to declare your bisexuality through crafting! Crochet a bi scarf, create a needlepoint pattern of your favorite bicon (Frida Kahlo, Deadpool, and George Washington Carver are all solid options), or sew more peace sign patches onto your jean jacket!
Whatever your bi noodle can think up, you can make yourself! Once you finish crafting things for Pride Month, you can begin to work on bi-inspired crafts for the holiday season!
Even if you’re not one for parades and parties, there are plenty of ways to show off your bi pride. Let us know how you are celebrating Bi Pride Month this year!
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