4 Ways to Stay Visible All Year Long

The big day is finally upon us: September 23 — Bi Visibility Day! Unlike in past years, I’m not going to focus on why we need this day (i.e., because bi people experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, sexual assault, and discrimination than both the gay and straight communities). There’s an infuriating sort of irony in the fact that on our day, we have to defend why Bi Pride is important — just like we often have to justify our existence to naysayers every other day of the year.

For one day I don’t want to have to justify my sexuality or explain why people should give a damn about the bi community. So instead of all the usual depressing statistics, I want to discuss how you can bring the joy, pride, and increased visibility you experience on that day into the other 364 days a year.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we lived in a world where every day was Bi Visibility Day? You can help make that happen with these four tips!

1. Join a Bi Group

My favorite part of Bi Visibility Day is recognizing how large and diverse the bi community is. Since its inception, #BiVisibilityDay usually trends on Twitter. That’s how many people are openly discussing their bisexuality. I love seeing people come out as bi, and how responsive and supportive we are to one another. The level of compassion and empathy we give to our queer brothers and sisters makes my little bisexual heart burst.

Additionally, Bi Visibility Day helps us realize that we are not alone. While we comprise the majority of the LGBT community, we still often feel isolated. Unfortunately, it might not be easy to connect and find other bi people when it’s not Bi Visibility Day, which is why it’s crucial to join a specific bi group or to tell yourself that you will actually attend that once-a-month bi meetup downtown.

If you live outside of queer-friendly metropolises, then you can (and should) join Facebook or Reddit groups. An online community of like-minded, supportive bi people can be as nourishing to the soul as meeting up with folks in real life.

2. Continue to Push Yourself

On Bi Visibility Day, you might be pushing yourself to do or share things that would typically be out of your comfort zone. Maybe you came out to your family, or you wore a colorful pink, purple, and blue outfit that you’d usually be too scared to wear in public, or you told a coworker that you’re attracted to both men and women. You likely did something that you wouldn’t do on another day because you felt encouraged/inspired by the bi pride all over the Internet.

But the truth is, you don’t need an “excuse” to do anything bi or to come out. The straight coworker's response is going to be the same that day as it would be every other day of the year. Try to find the courage to push yourself to be more open and proud when it's not Bi Visibility Day.

3. There are Many Kinds of Visibility 

Due to bi-erasure and society’s tendency to think of the world in binaries, it’s surprisingly tough to be “visibly bi”. Unless you’re walking around town waving a bi flag or holding hands with both a woman and a man, people are going to assume you’re either gay or straight. This can be absolutely maddening to feel like your identity is constantly being negated.

A few years ago on Bi Visibility Day, I came to realize that bi visibility can take many forms. Talking about being bi. Dressing up queer. Promoting bi writers, activists, and actors on social media. It’s also not only about what other people think of as being visible. When I wear my crop tops, I don’t feel like I’m embracing a gay identity (which is what most others assume) I feel like I’m embracing my femininity and bisexuality. That’s how bi visibility looks to me!

4. Donate Your Time to a Bi or Any LGBT Cause

Get involved. That’s the best thing you can do to feel part of the bi or larger queer community, When you donate your time to bi causes, you’ll not only meet other incredible bi people, you’ll also feel more connected to the community. You’re only a Google search away from seeing what’s around in your area. It really is a win-win all around!

So go on and enjoy Bi Visibility Day! Live your life to the fullest and be proud and open of who you are. But remember, we can embrace and be proud of our sexuality every day of the year. Just because we are celebrating Bi Visibility Day, it doesn't mean we’re done being proud and visible!