The Unicorn Scale: The Rocky Horror Picture Show

O welcome back, dear Unicorns,
Of all genders and sizes;
This Halloween will make you scream
With all of its surprises.

For here today, amongst the fray
Of nefarious creatures,
We bring to light the great delight
Of campy horror features.

I know, I know — you cry “let’s go”,
Flush with antici... pation;
So here we go: on with the show!
And the camp-ification!

Oh man, do I ever love Halloween. The sights, the sounds, the movies! It’s a time to really let loose — both in costume expectations and exhibitions. And there are those in the Halloween pantheon that have become character giants in the bi community (what’s up, Babadook!) And chief amongst those would be the great Dr. Frank-N-Furter (Tim Curry). So let’s take some time to appreciate this sweet transvestite from Transsexual Transylvaniaaaaa-ha-ha! 

Before I get too deep into this diabolical laboratory, I should probably go over some disclaimers first. There will be SPOILERS for the cult classic sprinkled throughout this review. I suppose I should also throw down some TRIGGER WARNINGS as well: murder, cannibalism, sexual coercion. Oh, and if you’re new around these parts, before I let you use my castle’s phone (which may or may not exist), you should check out the metric we’ll have in play over here. 

Still with me? Groovy. Let’s do the Time Warp again!

What I Liked:

There is so much to delight in with Frank-N-Furter. (Yes, there are bis aplenty in Rocky, but for brevity’s sake, I’m going to focus on the good doctor.) He is completely comfortable in his (for now, human) skin. He has fun with androgyny and the playfulness of clothes. He’s also a genius, a creator, and a scientist who makes major breakthroughs in physiobiology. And he’s just got a great, playful attitude that is not only infectious — it’s downright irresistible. Much of this can be attributed to Curry’s performance — right down to his choice to give Frank an overly posh Queen’s English accent. But beyond that, on the page, Frank has hopes, fears, and goals — as well as sexual appetites.

This film has also long been noted for its importance to the LGBT community — specifically the bi community. Sure, it’s kitschy, but there’s a distinct arc going from the heteronormative expectations of straight society into queer self-identity through experience and fun that a lot of people can relate to. No, not everyone personally goes through a sexual awakening the same way Brad (Barry Bostwick) or Janet (Susan Sarandon) does. Sadly, not everyone even goes from being marble-ized straight into an androgynous cabaret act which evolves into an orgy in the pool overlooked by the RKO emblem. But still. There are moments of doubt, curiosity, and temptation here that lots of queers can identify with along the way — castle/spaceship not included.

Even though he is not technically human, this Transylvanian has a real joie de vivre — and a great sense of fashion to boot. Frank-N-Furter never questions his sexuality — queer-as-conflict is never at play with him (though it is with other characters). In fact, he revels in the joys of his bisexuality just as much as he does in the joys of mad science. And it’s well established he has had a bisexual history with both Eddie and Columbia, so his trysts with Brad and Janet aren’t "situationships" springing forth from a particularly dark and stormy night.

I would say “what’s not to love?” but...

What I Didn't Like:

I think it’s crucial to point out this whole premise is based on a campy take on science fiction films from the 1930s up to the 1960s. So when we’re talking about Rocky Horror, we’re talking about a flick that is both a parody and a tribute to a specific genre — all infused with a glam-rock aesthetic. So with that level of satire in mind, it seems fatuous to take some of the more negative parts of Frank-N-Furter’s character qualities seriously.

Okay, okay, okay. So he’s a murderer and a cannibal. And he does tend to coerce people into having sex with him (and he doesn’t seem to pause for protective sex precautions, either). And sure, he can be insanely jealous regarding Rocky — and downright cruel to his “servants” including his former lover, Columbia. Frank is also impulsive and vindictive, resorting to turning people to stone on a whim or destroying a former lover with a coal miner’s instrument of choice.

And yet. And yet. This is satire, people! And with satire, everything is exaggerated and elevated to bring attention to its original form, no?

If you want to get really pedantic, we could also make the argument that while someone calls him “immoral”, Frank is an alien bent on creating new life — and aliens would presumably have their own set of tenets that may not be in line with human decency or decorum. So maybe his zany antics aren’t totally out of line in his home galaxy of Transylvania. Who are we to judge the rule of law of an entirely different star system?

So with all that in mind, I am going to give him a pass here. Am I putting my stamp of approval on all of these dastardly behaviors with humans? Of course not! This is a villain pushed to the nth degree, and Frank should not be emulated — except in costume and playfulness.

Rocky still didn’t use the word “bi”, though. (Nope, will never let that go by without mentioning it, folks.)

The Rating:

This spooky sexcapade is still delightful, even when I’m not at a midnight screening. Frank and company are still a cult phenomenon, cooking up kooky queer delights for generations and having fun doing it. I applaud anyone who can find sexual inspiration/freedom from Dr. Frank-N-Furter’s example — just don’t, you know, go around having unprotected, coerced sex or start whaling on a rockabilly Meatloaf with a pickax.

Still. I simply must know where he gets that fabulous lip gloss.