Shiva Baby is a comedy film first released in 2020, written and directed by Canadian film director and screenwriter Emma Seligman. The film stars an all-American cast, with Rachel Sennott in the lead role as Danielle, a young bi Jewish woman.
Danielle, who is in the final year of university, has a sugar daddy. After having sex with him, Danielle goes to a shiva observance (the Jewish period of mourning following a funeral) with her parents, Joel (Fred Melamed) and Debbie (Polly Draper). There, she comes across not only her successful ex-girlfriend Maya (Molly Gordon), who is being congratulated by everyone for being admitted to law school, but also Max, her sugar daddy (Danny Deferrari).
(Warning: SPOILERS!) It turns out that Max is… well, married. To the gorgeous hotshot Kim (Dianna Agron). And what’s more, they have a baby.
Needless to say, this does not go well for Danielle, who is already trying to navigate her embarrassing parents, her thriving ex-girlfriend, relatives she doesn’t know, and her sugar daddy himself, Max, whom Danielle did not expect to see at this shiva.
The whole plot makes for very entertaining viewing, with laugh-out-loud moments as well as more subtly funny scenes.
The film has been praised for its Jewish and bi representation, and rightly so: anyone who is Jewish and/or bi can relate to so much of what Danielle experiences, and all in all, it’s a thoroughly engaging, original comedy well worth watching. Even non-Jewish and non-bi people will enjoy this!
What I Liked:
There were so many things that I liked or even loved about this film! To name some: the comedy, the actors’ genuineness, the story, and the representation of bi Jews.
Most importantly, as opposed to many films that have bi themes but don’t actually mention the word “bi” or “bisexual,” this one did, most notably in the following scene:
Danielle’s mother: I thought I told you, no funny business with Maya!
Danielle: I don’t know what that means.
Danielle’s mother: Oh yes you do. Don’t play dumb with me. I thought you were done experimenting.
Danielle: You think everyone that’s bi is experimenting. You don’t know anything. You have zero gaydar!
So, for Danielle to be proud of her bisexuality, and call her mother out for thinking that bi people are going through a phase or are just experimenting, is encouraging.
And what’s even more heartening is that this is no accident: the director and writer Emma Seligman, who is herself Jewish and bi, said that she did this on purpose; in an interview with MUBI. Emma said that she “wanted Danielle to be clearly bisexual" and “to have a bisexual protagonist” because she feels like “we don’t really see many [bisexual protagonists],” and that was important to her. She added that it was “tough to write the queerness in” because the story takes place in just one day, and she wanted “not to slip into queerbaiting” with, for example, the two queer characters only holding hands or not having the same physical intimacy on-screen that straight characters have.
And that’s why the character of Maya was so important. As the interviewer notes, it was uplifting to see that the story didn’t come down to “Which one [male or female] will Danielle choose?” that is so often the case in bi stories portrayed in film. It wasn’t about having to “make a choice."
So, Danielle’s intimacy is real with both Max and later Maya; at no point did I feel like one attraction was less than the other. And that’s really positive to see in a representation of a bi character. I think that this was done so well because Emma, the director and writer, is bi; a non-bi writer might not have shown this bi truth as well as Emma has done.
To me, the freshest aspect of the film as a whole was this very real portrayal of bisexuality being harmonious and not at all a conflict or need to choose. So, the bi representation in the film is probably one of the best I’ve ever seen. And the film is a commendable exploration of what it means to be a twenty-something Jewish bi student just trying to navigate overbearing parents, awkward family gatherings, and the difficulties of being judged academically and career-wise.
The casting also worked very well, with genuinely talented performances and very funny laugh-out-loud moments throughout the film!
What I Didn’t Like:
I actually liked — or even loved — most aspects of the film and its story. The one thing that I would have changed if I had to was Danielle’s continued pursuit of Max even after she was so shocked to find out that he was not only cheating on his wife with whom he had a young baby but was using his wife’s money to fund having sex with Danielle; initially, Danielle was shaken, and I would have liked her to either reveal to Max’s wife what Max had been up to or to ignore Max. But the almost-blow job scene says otherwise!
However, that’s just a very small thing that I would change if I had to nitpick. And the only reason I say that is not because we bi people can’t be imperfect, but because non-bis watching the film may believe in incorrect bi stereotypes about us sleeping with everyone no matter what.
Otherwise, everything else was perfect!
The Rating:
For giving us an excellent bi character with a full personality and a life beyond being bisexual, I give Shiva Baby the full four unicorns.
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