For many of us, Coronavirus has drastically changed our lives: from the way we work to the way we play. But for those of us who are lucky enough to be healthy at home, perhaps the most significant impact it has had is on the way we connect with other people, one of our most basic needs. How does one date when you should stay at least six feet away from one another? How can you meet someone while in quarantine? Let's talk about how to find and maintain love from a distance.
There are of course a variety of dating sites and apps dedicated to find a special someone. Just be sure to do your research. Being on some of these sites when bi can be hard, so a trick some people use is to go on more than one. Try one that is more generic like OKCupid (which is where I met my partner) and one that is more LGBTI centered.
We are all familiar with the concept of dating sites and apps, but what if those aren’t your style? It is possible to meet someone using other forms of social media. If there’s someone you’re friends with on Facebook that you want to ask out, it’s possible to do so. Just remember to do so respectfully. If that’s not the case for you and you want to meet someone else making friends from a facebook group or other page with shared interests is also an option. Just remember to be respectful and follow the rules of any given group.
So you let's say that you've found that special someone (or more than one). How do you spend quality time with them when you’re not supposed to meet in person? For this we can look to long-distance dating advice to find more ways to bond.
Don't forget the old standbys, regular phone calls, texts, and maybe even a handwritten letter or card. For an anniversary, birthday, or special date, consider sending a package.
For those of us who want something a little more visual, Zoom or other video hangouts, Snapchat, FaceTime, etc. can go a long way. Spend a day trying out every filter with your partner.
Movie nights are something you can do even when you can’t meet in person. If you’re dating one person, using a simple video chat and a movie can work. The upside of this is you see your partner’s face. The downside is it is hard to get the video playback to sync. Another option if you have access to Netflix is Netflix Party. This is a free chrome extension that syncs everyone's video making it easier to pause. You cannot see or hear the other people, but there is a chat window where you can type messages to one another. For all you poly folks, Netflix Party is probably the simpler set up.
A lot of national parks, museums, and zoos are offering free virtual tours. By streaming these tours at the same time, you can explore sites around the world together.
Get on the phone and make a list of things you want to do when all of this is over. It can include things as simple as “I want to kiss you” and “I want to fall asleep together”, or big things like “I want to go to the beach together”.
Make a playlist together or for each other on streaming services like Spotify. Put songs on it that remind you of the other person and things that you just like. It gives you something to listen to and allows you to share your taste in music!
Game night isn't off the table either (or maybe it's moved to the virtual table). There are plenty of apps that let you play with other people. There are games like Jackbox that are good for groups and other games like Trivia Crack that are good for two people. You can even play some games on apps like Snapchat and Zoom (Pictionary anyone?) that allow you to see other people and play at the same time!
Your sex life isn't doomed either, just different. In the age of hookup culture, most actively dating people are familiar with the exchanging of nudes and lewds. However, this isn’t the only way to maintain a sex life if photos aren't for you. Sexting and phone sex are also good substitutes. For polycules, sexting in a group chat is an option (as my partner and our ex regularly did). Another option is reading the same erotica and talking about it together, maybe even try writing each other some erotica. Maintaining a sex life when not meeting in person can be difficult, but it’s not impossible.
Dating during this time can be difficult, but love will find a way. Going through this together is something that can make your relationship stronger.