Why I Don't Apologize for Defending my Bisexuality

Several times during my ongoing quest to promote bi visibility and equality, I have been accused of attacking others ... simply by asking them to broaden their minds and reconsider their negative stance on bi people. Apparently, it’s alright to routinely disparage the bi community, but should I try to defend myself as a member of that community, and share my side of the story, I’m suddenly the aggressor.

In the past, I have tended to let these comments go; it's far easier to ignore the trolls hell-bent on making bi activists feel bad about promoting equal visibility and respect within the LGBT community.

Alas, my patience is at an end. My breaking point has been reached, and moving forward, I cannot let these unwarranted words go without some sort of a response. I'll try my best to reply with mature, well-thought-out rebuttals that address all of their concerns. That's really all I can do.

I don't have exceptionally high hopes that I will change anyone's mind right away (or even at all), but letting people run around making derogatory, uninformed comments helps no one. So, if standing up to attitudes paints me as an aggressor in the eyes of a few, there’s nothing I can do about it. However, I cannot sit idly by and let it continue without pushing back against anti-bi comments and explaining how they affect others.

At this point in my life, I'm fairly sure I can handle the inevitable backlash ... but that hasn't always been the case. While still figuring out my sexual orientation, the animosity directed at those in the bi community promoting visibility and respect was intimidating and ultimately kept me from coming out sooner than I did. I eventually did make my way out of the closet, and, as unpleasant as it may be, I'm sure I can handle the negativity from others who don't understand or misinterpret the aim of my words and actions.

I still have a hard time wrapping my mind around the logic of trying to turn the aggressor label around on me. How am I, a person who is simply asking for acceptance and promoting visibility for my community, the aggressor in the situation where the opposite side is telling me I am fundamentally wrong, in more ways than one? I can accept the reality that there always will be people who view me in that light, but I cannot accept the logic behind their reasoning.

I'm sure that asking for the equal treatment of bi people within the LGBT community will ruffle the worldview of some individuals, but that doesn’t make it an inherently aggressive act. It just means that there’s an opportunity for us to learn more and improve. It also does not mean I won't continue to fight, advocate, and care for all LGBT people; it just means that I want to feel like I am doing it for my specific community as well as the larger queer population.

I'm not asking for special treatment in the LGBT community; I'm asking for fair treatment. If you view that as an attack and set yourself against anyone asking for this, that's what you have to live with. However, I will continue to promote bi visibility and equality, both in and out of the LGBT community, and hope that the majority of people will not condemn it as an attack, but instead welcome the opportunity to promote inclusivity and respect for others.