What I am Thankful for Since Coming Out

Taking a cursory glance back at 2020, it was a bit of a challenge to sift through the year’s chaos to find moments to be thankful for. Civil unrest, a devastating pandemic, and many other doomsday-esque events filled our days with anxiety, fear, and uncertainty, preventing virtually the entire world from being able to live with any semblance of normalcy. It has, in a nutshell, been a hard year.

However, in my life, I’ve learned that with hardship comes growth, learning, and progress that should not be written off or forgotten. I, like many others, have had hard years in the past; most notably the years spent questioning myself in the closet. Though that was obviously a more personal experience than living through a pandemic, there are still similarities in my experiences. That too seemed like a time I would never escape; it felt like a pale imitation of the true-life I could be living. As I look back on this difficult year, I realize the support systems steering me through the challenges of 2020 are the same ones that helped me leave the closet and embrace my true self all those years ago. The continued existence of those many levels of support made me realize how much I truly have to be grateful for, even in times of turmoil.

The most prominent system of support I have in every aspect of my life comes from my family. As soon as I came out to them, it was made clear that I had their unwavering backing. In the years since I left the closet behind, they have proven time and time again that they will be there for me, whether it be regarding my bisexuality or any other aspect of my life. This year, my parents even threw a Pride Celebration for me in their backyard with a small group of friends and family after they realized Chicago Pride would be canceled. They show me repeatedly, in big and small ways, that they will be by my side through the good and the bad and, try as I might, it’s hard to articulate just how grateful I am for this ongoing gift. All I can do to try to repay them is to use their support to take risks and speak up for those who don’t have the same systems backing them as I do.

Another vital component of my life that has helped me thrive in the years since I came out would be my friends, both old and new. The universal acceptance from my hometown friends after I came out was one of the greatest reliefs of my life; these are the people who I grew up with, who filled my childhood with its vibrancy, and had I lost them, I would have been devastated. Luckily, our relationships remain strong; in fact, I’d say they’ve even gotten better, now that I am able to be my authentic self around them without fear.

While discovering the “real me” will continue to be a lifelong journey, I have learned so much about myself through the new friends I have made within the LGBTI community. They challenge me, introduce me to new perspectives, and inspire me to be fearless in a way I never could have predicted. Essentially, they’ve helped me uncover a whole new take on life and I am thankful that they have and continue to push me to evolve into the best version of myself that I can be.

All the aforementioned people have done so much for me that it would take countless pages to list out all I am thankful for, but the simple core of my gratitude is this: they have helped me grow from an insecure, closeted bi individual to the proud, bisexual man I am today. It’s because of their support, guidance, and encouragement to be adventurous that I am comfortable in my own skin. I’m grateful to live in a time where I can be proud of who I am in public and no longer live in fear, but I don’t know if I ever would have reached this point without them.

So, as I look back on the troubles of this and previous years, it’s clear to me that life has not been all sunshine and rainbows. But through all the ups and downs, I am lucky to have a support system of friends and family to stand by my side through life. With their support, I know I can continue to grow into a better man and weather any storm… even those of 2020.