Hello my lovely fans of the minis! You know, some experts say micro-dosing on certain properties is beneficial for your health. And I think that holds true for music. Sometimes you just need a quick taste of a new song or two and you feel your blood pressure lower, and your muscles relax you didn’t even know you’d tightened. Ain’t music a wonderful thing?
So with that in mind, most of the songs in this volume are more on the low-key side. I love tearing up the dance floor as much as any other queer, but sometimes it’s just good to feel your soul unfurl as you hear heartfelt songs that speak to your heart.
Before we get going — please know I have cobbled together ALL of the Mini Unicorn Scale songs on this handy-dandy YouTube playlist for your listening pleasure. Oh, and if you have no idea what I’m talking about when I’m talking about the Scale, you can find out all about it here.
1. Norah Jones, “I’ve Got To See You Again”
Most people my age and older are familiar with Jones’ sotto voice, her songs finding a near-permanent residence in coffee shops and low-key dinner parties since the mid-2000s. But tucked in her Come Away With Me debut album is this smoky, sultry queer jam, with a partner rhapsodizing about her love, an exotic dancer/sex worker. This was an original tune written by Jones’ songwriter, Jesse Harris — and while Jones herself is straight (as far as we know, college me had a big crush on her and wishes otherwise), it’s nice to have a torch song sung by a woman to a subject who is a woman. Unfortunately, it’s a relationship that contains jealousy and possessiveness to toxic degrees, so it’s not an exemplary one. But it sure makes for a steamy start to our playlist.
2. Stromae, “Tous les Memes”
Okay, I have to admit I had never heard of this song until a few months ago. I like to think I have cosmopolitan tastes, but I’m not as familiar with international artists like Stromae as I think I am. This song (probably the most fast-paced in this article) came to my attention through a bi support/social group I follow on Facebook, and while I didn’t understand the lyrics (I can speak Spanish fairly well, but not French), the video seemed bi as all hell. A quick look at the translated lyrics shows the Belgian artist attempting to display the ridiculousness of the "battle of the sexes". But I’m gonna go ahead and say the music video is rife with sexual tension, regardless of gender.
3. Jann Arden, “You Don’t Know Me”
I practically grew up with this version, as I watched My Best Friend’s Wedding so many times I still have chunks of dialogue memorized. But it wasn’t until I was rewatching that 90s classic that two things dawned on me:
1. Julia Roberts’ character in that one is a truly terrible person; and
2. This could totally work as a queer song.
Bi people go through unrequited longing for others just as much as anyone else does, and this cover, in its own sweet way, addresses that quandary. That’s a deft trick for any cover song from the ‘90s.
4. T.V. Carpio, “I Wanna Hold Your Hand”
Speaking of touching covers, we’re gonna continue that streak with this edition, lifted from the 2007 jukebox musical romantic drama, Across the Universe. Personally, while I love the Beatles, I wasn’t a fan of this film — except for this ingenious take on the Fab Four’s breakthrough hit. The song takes on a new poignancy when a queer woman of color in the 60s sings it mournfully to someone when she can never, ever hold their hand.
It’s a touching update any closeted person can relate to. This is a great example of why reinterpretation of classics can be not just a good thing, but a great thing.
5. Mary Lambert, “Jessie’s Girl”
Finishing up our run of queer covers is Lambert’s slowed-down take on the ‘80s Rick Springfield classic. Armed with little more than a piano and her tremulous vocals, Lambert gives a queer, searing take on the ditty all about unrequited love, giving it new depth and emotional resonance.
It’s hard for me to write anything else about this “Jessie’s Girl” because whenever I hear the song and the singer’s achingly heartfelt interpretation, I start having trouble seeing my computer screen because my vision blurs with tears. Both from being moved by her interpretation and the flood of memories of similar feelings I’ve experienced in the past. Lambert’s a little too good at this yanking-your-queer-heart-out business.
6. Victoria Canal, “Drama”
Pulling us up from the emotional depths is our closer, Canal’s upbeat and word-dense bop. The young bi singer puts a spotlight on her own experiences as a queer woman dealing with haters — and sending them on their way. Transmuting Canal’s lived experiences into getting doubters to “waste their warfare” on other people, the track is a triumph in sending emotional vampires packing. May “Drama” inspire all of us to find the emotional strength to tell those who negate us to sashay away.
All right, that’s what I’ve got for now, beautiful bi bbs! Have I forgotten one of your faves? Please feel free to follow up with me on Twitter (my handle is my name) and lemme know what I should cover down the line.
In the meantime, here’s hoping you enjoyed this pack of sexually fluid goodness.
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