The Beauty of Living Without Religion

I still remember the day when I first questioned organized religion; I was about nine-years-old and had just found out Santa Claus was not real. I wasn’t exactly shocked by the revelation that the large jolly man flying around the globe in one evening delivering presents to all the good girls and boys of the world after a year of spying was not real. However, it did get me wondering, “If Santa Claus is in fact fictional, perhaps all of the other magical and fantastical beings that adults have told me about aren’t as real as I originally believed.”

While I’m certainly not trying to say that Santa Claus has the same societal and cultural impact as a deity, growing up in a household where religion wasn’t a dominating factor gave me the chance to consider to many ideologies. Though baptized in the Catholic church as an infant, our family prioritized Sundays for family time, relaxing or, in our younger days, out of town sporting events. Our Sundays weren’t about the rituals of religion, but about spending time together as a family.

As I grew and started learning about other cultures, societies, and times, I was fascinated to discover that they all have their own deities and systems of belief. I devoured Greek and Roman mythology and poured over the idols of ancient Egypt, enthralled to see how these societies used their gods and goddesses to explain the world around them. I found myself engrossed in the philosophies of the East, including Taoism, Shintoism, and Confucianism, amazed to see the diverse and intricate belief systems that drove and continue to drive society — for better or for worse.

Despite my fascination with these ideologies, I have never been drawn to one in particular as my gospel. There is significant value in understanding these belief systems and there are certainly lessons to be learned from them, but I have a hard time looking past them as more than historical documents or fictional stories to impress life lessons upon their audiences.

Instead, I find the idea of living life without organized religion inherently more rewarding and beautiful than any doctrine I’ve come across.

In my life, I have encountered both good and bad people from religious and non-religious backgrounds. I’ve had religious zealots tell me that they hope I face eternal damnation for who I’m attracted to; I’ve also had religious friends tell me they’ll stand by my side no matter what. The point I’m trying to make is that people are not inherently good or bad based on their religious beliefs; each side is made up of both.

However, I find that time and time again, my newsfeed is inundated with religious promotions; blogs with headlines reading, “Why you need God to improve your life” fill my social media, but the opposite viewpoint is rarely heard.

As someone who does not adhere to any organized belief system, I want to share why I live my life this way. Oftentimes, I am hit with sympathy or even “prayers” when this is revealed. I have an incredibly rewarding and fulfilling life. I don’t need sympathy. I don’t need prayers. What I need is understanding.

Without an omnipotent being guiding my life with a set of rules and regulations, I was able develop my own set of morals and ethics to govern my life and how I interact with others. Sure, they vary occasionally, but taking the time to think critically about what kind of person I want to be and the steps I need to take to get there has been infinitely more rewarding than living my life based on rules laid out in ancient texts.

One of the biggest factors that ultimately drove me away from organized religion was that I saw (and continue to see) people commit horrendous acts all under the guise of religion. To some, there seems to be a belief that if you subscribe to a certain religion, you’re above scrutiny; that you cannot be doing something wrong because you’re doing it, “In the name of God”. Ironically, when someone is telling me to burn eternally because of who I’m attracted to in the name of God, it’s not exactly a welcoming message. Maybe I am biased as an openly bi man, but the messages I have received since coming out from religious zealots are anything but welcoming; in fact, I would argue they’re ostracizing, damaging and counter to any sort of productive interaction.

Instead, I find it much more beautiful to think that a person is acting kindly because they want to, rather than in fear of eternal damnation. People who live life without religion don’t act out of fear; their actions are dictated by their choices. I’m not saying that a religious person is incapable of sincerity or genuine acts of kindness, but it seems like to many, those who identify as agnostic or atheist are incapable of such feats due to their beliefs, or perceived lack thereof.

However, just because I don’t believe in organized religion does not mean my life is bereft of belief; in fact, I’d argue it has helped me find more beautiful, personal systems to believe in.

I believe in my family. I believe in love, kindness, humility and humor. I believe in science and critical thinking. I believe in helping others. I believe in individuality, creativity, and living life to the beat of your own drummer. I believe in nature, balance, and the interconnectedness of all living things. I believe in justice and equality. I believe that as a bi man, I should not be penalized, judged or condemned to an eternity of pain and suffering, nor should any other member of the LGBTI community. My life is full of a continually growing list of beliefs, and I find it infinitely more rewarding knowing that I can choose them of my own volition.