As most of my friends and family can attest to, I am a passionate person. I never fail to make my opinions known, whether it be about politics, ethics, or even something as trivial as what TV show is best, and I have no qualms with debating and defending them when given the opportunity to do so. I firmly believe that if you sincerely hold something as valid, true, and important, then you should seize every opportunity to celebrate it and defend it should it be challenged.
One of the things I am well known for continually defending, promoting, and discussing is bisexuality; whether it pertains specifically to me as a bi man, is a community issue, or concerns a larger, more global conversation, you can bet that I am going to voice my opinion on the matter. I am so vocal about the issues that surround this community and with sharing my own personal experiences as a bi man that, to some, I cross the line from passionate advocate to an obnoxious propagandist.
To those who believe me to be obnoxious when it comes to speaking about and defending my bisexuality and the bi orientation as a whole, I have one thing to say: if you don’t like it, unfriend, unfollow, or totally cut me out of your life, because this positive bi train isn’t stopping or slowing down any time soon.
There are several reasons that I dedicate so much time and effort to vocalizing issues and concerns for the bi community, one of which is the simple fact that there are not many out bi men; of that number, there are even fewer who are comfortable with protecting their opinions out there for the world to tear apart.
We face enough of that in our day-to-day lives, and adding on more hate is certainly no picnic, but I feel lucky to have to opportunity to write and speak about my experiences through a wide variety of platforms. For me, it is cathartic to express myself through words and share my experiences with others in the hopes that they find some nugget of relatability within my words.
I have often asked those who hint that I should tone it down, “Why should I?” Is it because you are uncomfortable with reading about bi relationships and concerns? Or is it something you simply want to ignore? Those aren’t reasons for me to stop; in fact, those are reasons for me to redouble my efforts. Until people are comfortable with seeing and speaking about LGBTI relationships and experiences in general, it’s vital to keep them as a part of the conversation.
I think this might be another reason that I could come off as “obnoxious” to some; I am talking about issues surrounding the bi community on almost a daily basis, but if I am one of the only ones discussing them in other’s social circles or on their social media feeds, I certainly could come off as a singular entity concerned with these discussions.
Perhaps, rather than writing me off as overwhelming, you should expand your own social circle or realm of thought and seek out other sources to develop a further understanding of the bi community and the struggles that they encounter in their lives. Then you might find yourself wanting to contribute more to the conversation other than a sigh and an eye-roll.
It can certainly be frustrating to hear people say that I’m obsessed or crazed about promoting or discussing bi issues, but the fact of the matter is that I do this because we need to see change, both within the LGBTI community and outside of it.
Being quiet and passive has its place in some scenarios, but not when there are those out there trying to silence you because they view you as invalid and a nuisance. Not when there are people out there struggling to find acceptance and instead are finding ridicule, pain, and judgment. If I can help at least one person through my “obnoxious” work, then I consider that to be a rousing success.
If you cannot see the merits behind passionately advocating for an underserved and underrepresented community, then maybe it’s best if you do cut me out of your life because you certainly don’t sound like the kind of person I want to have in my life anymore.