You may not have heard of Torrey Mercer yet, but you will. A San Diegan with big musical aspirations and even bigger Christina Aguilera-like pipes, Mercer has already been tearing through Spotify with her queer anthem, “Boys/Girls” — a hit with over 50,000 streams since its release. Poised to build on that success, Mercer dropped “Like That” in September of 2020, a ditty about the common queer dilemma of having a crush on a woman but not knowing if she feels the same.
I sat down with Mercer to talk about her roots, being a die-hard Taylor Swift fan, and where she would like to go from here.
JENNIE ROBERSON: How did you come to identify as bisexual or queer?
Torrey Mercer: When I was younger, when I was really young, I had crushes on boys, and I think I probably could have [them] on girls. I just wasn’t aware of it because of society and the way it is, and at that time it was also just not mainstream. I was always a people-pleasing type of person, so I didn’t even think in my mind that that was an okay thought to have. So I just shut down any kind of possibility of it, and only saw attraction to boys.
Over time that has evolved a lot. As I have come through my process I realized that I like girls. I also dated a lot of trans* people, and that helped me realize I wasn’t a traditionally straight person per se. So “bi” felt the most open to me when I first came out. I can’t say I’m like, one way or the other. I’m definitely somebody who has existed in the middle of the spectrum with my sexuality, and I like the general openness of it. But I think “queer” I like as well as a word, because for me at least it feels even more open than “bi” at times.
How has it been being out as a queer artist?
TM: I feel like it can be challenging at times, I’m not gonna lie. The music industry especially is very male-dominated — straight, white, male-dominated. And being a woman in this industry in general, you get over-sexualized a lot. People want to make you into this product, and it’s really hard if your sexuality conflicts with that. People will “other” you. I’ve gotten a lot of silence, or they give other people bigger responses.
There’ll be these men in power, and [the] kinds of female artists that they work with are very much … everything that checks all of their boxes off of what a woman should be. It’s like a woman according to them. And I’m not somebody that really allows men to do that to me. I feel like because I have this side of me that is … not okay with that, it means it’s harder for me to move forward, and the queerness is just a part of that.
You’ve talked recently about changing your public image from the male gaze to the queer gaze or another gaze. Can you expand on those statements?
TM: That’s definitely something that I aspire to do with my music. That’s another reason I think I struggle a little bit in the industry, because the male gaze is real. It really, really is. Even the most well-meaning men, the most kind, progressive men…even they sometimes can miss the mark with that.
It’s hard. I want to have that space. I would love to work with a music group, but I really only want to work with them if they really have my best interests at heart. And would want and believe in [my] perspective.
What are three things that the music industry could do to better prepare or work with a queer artist such as yourself?
TM: Step one — and this is something I hope to see in coming generations, decades, years, etc — there needs to be more women in power in the industry, and then also queer people, people of color. More diversity in those seats. I think that automatically would make things a little bit better.
And then also just generally respecting someone’s perspective and voice and not altering it, not needing it to fit your idea of what that person is. Ultimately it is about that person’s perspective. And the way the industry works, I don’t think we’re at a point where the artist’s perspective is valued the most. A lot of times there are other things that are valued more. That’s something I want to be a part of as an artist. Make art that challenges that, for sure.
[Finally,] if an artist can really listen to their fans.
This even goes for strong allies. I mean if we’re talking about Taylor Swift — she’s an ally, but she listened to her fans who are LGBTI, people of color, etc. And because she’s empathetic and really a good listener, she can make something speak to them. There are ways in which you can make people feel included. I think if you give more value to the fans and the people who want to hear what you’re making, and realizing that the art is really truly for them — I think that can really open that [industry] up as well.
How do you see yourself as a musician, and how does being queer fold into that?
TM: Well, it’s also related to the song that I’m about to release, which is cool. I think there is a level, a part of the experience of being LGBTI, you’re kind of ostracized by mainstream society. They put you in this position where you become creative with your own reality. You pick your family, you pick what’s in your life. And I think it can make for some really beautiful art.
I think it definitely has influenced what I want to make art about, and I think it’s evolved over time. As a musician, I have musical theatre roots, and my voice has always had this sort of jazzy-bluesy tinge to it, and I like writing really wordy melodies and stuff like that. I think I have so far been predominantly super pop, and I’ve recently had people pushing me to deviate from that more because I can — I just haven’t fully yet. But I love doing pop stuff, too, and I think that’s very genuine for me.
Would that include a return to your musical theatre roots, since that is a queer-accepting area?
TM: I would love to revisit it in general, or write music that has some of those roots in it.
I listen to a bunch of jazz music — I was in a jazz band when I was in high school. And I just like [adding] a little bit of like bluesy kind of sounds.
Is there anything about you that you would like people to know about you that isn’t part of your public persona?
TM: I’ve been told that I come off as very extroverted and very forward, chatty. And it’s interesting because I would not classify myself that way at all. I would say I’m definitely an introvert. I’ve dealt with anxiety and depression my whole life, and I continue to [do so].
I think people have told me before I come off as strong, and in the past, I’ve been somebody who people are like, “Oh, you’re fine, you’re strong”. My friends don’t worry about me per se because they think I’m a strong person. There is definitely a very vulnerable side to me that has been through things, and I doubt myself all the time. Those are things I hide like anybody else.
Tell me a little bit about how “Boys/Girls” came to be.
TM: That was really fun to write. I was writing with this songwriter who has written a few other songs with me as well, Tova Litvin, and she’s just like really great. She has this very quirky, fun energy to her. She’s a pop writer, but she also has some musical theatre roots herself. So she’s just fun to work with in that way; she brought that side of me out that’s a little more quirky and fun.
We were playing around with this Julia Michaels-ish melody sound. And we had this cool, conversational melody happening. This was the first song that saw the light of day [which] incorporated my identity, that involves me talking about liking girls.
With song structure, there’s a verse, there’s a second verse, and a bridge. And I think that structure really lends itself to kind of describing a bi identity. You could talk about one gender spectrum and then another gender spectrum, and then wrap it all together, make it all-inclusive, make the point you’re gonna make, and that’s the song. You can flip the choruses and have fun playing with that idea artistically. This identity really lends itself to a pop song.
“Boys/Girls” can easily be categorized as a queer anthem. Do you have any other queer anthems that you admire, or any queer artists that you would love to talk with over a cup of coffee?
TM: One that jumps out who has inspired me a bunch right off the bat is Hayley Kiyoko. I think she’s just fantastic. She was one of the first queer pop artists I really bonded with. And she really helped me with coming to terms with my own sexuality. But then on the other side of the spectrum, I love Kehlani. She has stuff I like doing vocally.
Hayley Kiyoko, Troye Sivan, Halsey a little bit, Janelle Monae, Kehlani.
You recently played at OC Pride. What was that experience like?
TM: It was incredible. It was probably my favorite performance I’ve ever done to date. Definitely want to do more [pride festivals].
Really just getting to be up there and be loudly queer in an environment that is embraced is really special, ‘cause you can’t always do that at shows. I find myself often in shows having to water that down, because I’m not [always] in an environment, in an audience where I know what they support. So I find myself doing that because of that people-pleasing side of me.
It was just so nice to be unapologetically myself, and have people receive it so warmly. I met some real fans there who have continued to follow my stuff, which is exciting. And I want to do more of that [type of event].
You are a huge Taylor Swift fan. How does that color your creative process, particularly as a queer musician?
TM: When I began to see her come out of her shell, versus like this image that her label was crafting her to be that was not genuine, she kind of blossomed into the kind of person she actually is. Seeing that transformation, and some of the things she has been through. I love her, I connect to her.
I think one thing she does really well is she connects with her fans on a level that…she’s on a whole other level with her fans. She has inside jokes with them, she’ll invite them to her house. I think things like that are really cool, and that’s why admire her a lot.
I aspire to give people that sense of hope and feeling. I know a lot of people have mixed feelings about her involvement with the community recently. I personally really liked it, but at the same time I think it would be great to have queer artists who emulate her, and have her same positivity that can then go play Stonewall and have that be a moment. I love her, but she’s also an ally. For me, it would have more impact to get really big queer artists to perform at Stonewall like that.
Tell me about this song you have coming out called “Like That”. What are you most excited about with that song?
TM: Oh, man. I’m excited because this song is the first song I’ll have released which is completely and 100% about a girl. It’s based on an experience that so many queer women I speak to have, of liking a girl and not knowing if she like you back like that. It could be a straight girl you like, or you could just like a girl whose sexuality you don’t know. Or you could know what her sexuality is, and you’re just afraid of moving it past friendship and ruining it all.
It’s like this anxiety, and I think it’s something a lot of queer girls in general definitely relate to. It’s a little bit of fear, which is also vulnerability, and like “do you like me in that way”? And you’re worried it’s all in your head. So I played with that idea in this song.
Anything else you can hint about coming up later in this year?
TM: I won’t say too much, but in addition to my music, I’m going to be working on becoming a full content creator, and doing collaborations within the community on things that are beyond music. I want to expand it for a while and get to know my community and collaborate in different ways.
I’m going to be writing a bunch of songs, and new music is gonna be coming soon.
** This interview has been edited and truncated for brevity and clarity.
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