Hey howdy hey, my beat-loving bis! Wow, can you believe we’re already up to Volume 17 of this exploration of briefer representations of queer media? Wild, huh? If this column were as old as its volumes, it could drive a car, but it wouldn’t be able to vote yet. It’d probably be looking at colleges to apply to. Or vocational schools! Or a gap year! I’m not a judgmental classist. Whatever makes my baby happy, I’m proud of it all the same.
Well, we’re in the peak of summer, and that means a whole bunch of things. Popsicles! Picnics! Barbecues, oh my! And those all call for a new set of bi+ tones to bop our heads to, in my opinion. So here’s a round-up of recent queer media that should get our tails shaking.
Before we get going, I should go over a few important pointers. First and foremost, I’m not going to say that I have spoilers here because all of the media will be linked and embedded in the column so you get a chance to see what I’m talking about before you read on. Same goes with content warnings, though I think most of the stuff is pretty easygoing except for maybe some language in some of the songs/videos. Finally, if this is your first time here and you have no idea what the Unicorn Scale is all about, you can read up on the metric oner here.
Get-it-got-it-good-let’s-go.
Honorable Mention: “Bulgari: Unexpected Wonders,” featuring Zendaya and Anne Hathaway
I don’t usually go looking for queerness in commercials, but something about high fashion and the short films fashion houses produce can lead itself to those narratives. And despite the fact that both actresses are supposedly straight (with Hathaway being a very vocal ally), ever since comedian Jay Jurden mentioned on his Twitter the bi vibes he gets off of this commercial, I can’t unsee it. While I can’t find any real concrete evidence of anything other than gentle touching, there’s more than just female gaze going on in this spot, and you can’t convince me otherwise.
1) Megan thee Stallion, “Captain Hook”
The beautiful thing about Megan’s work is that there are multiple songs about her bisexuality to choose from. The white-hot rapper is not shy about being bi (talking about her type of women on her Instagram lives, etc), with mega-hits “Body” and “Thot Shit” throwing down queer lyrics at lightning speed. But I think “Captain Hook” is my favorite because it’s not only unabashed but also very secure about her sexuality and being a sexual creature. Maybe I’m splitting hairs because these are common themes in all these songs, but I think “Captain Hook” just makes me laugh the most while dropping the beat. And it uses the term “bi” so it doesn’t brook any argument. Love it, love it, love it.
2) Rita Ora, “Poison"
Confession: I felt bad ever since I dragged my last write-up for Rita in this column. Looking back, I think it was a bit of an unfair takedown for a bi artist, and I should be trying to lift them up in this space since we often get dismissed or erased in other arenas.
This poppy gem came up on my shuffle and burrowed into my brain. I know this song is an older ditty of hers, but damned if it ain’t catchy as all get out. The lyrics aren’t gender-specific so it’s inclusive, plus they feel like a pepped-up version of the addiction themes present in another bi fave of mine, Tove Lo’s sleeper hit “Habits (Stay High).”
3) Michael Medrano, “Fluids”
Seductive in every sense of the word, Medrano plays on the multiple meanings of fluids to a tech-y beat. It seems unclear if he’s helping one partner cheat on the other with him in the club or just that he’s open to both of them, but as long as they’re all consenting, fully honest adults, more power to whatever combination they wanna go for. Love seeing more bi male rep out on the dance floor. More, please!
4) Bright Eyes, “Lover I Don’t Have to Love”
Time to cool our jets a bit and remember that sad emo boys need love, too. Queer artist Conor Oberst talks about secretive, drugged-up affairs that may be questionable but part of the main character’s journey of internalized biphobia/denial. I know I tend to stick to pop a lot on these pages, but it’s good to see representation across the genres. Clearly the shoe-gazing paid off from the first line of the lyrics on this one. Yes, it’s a downer, but it can’t all be lollipops and rainbows on our playlists.
5 & 6) Lizzo, “About Damn Time”/“Everybody’s Gay”
Taking us home is a double header from Lizzo’s newest album, Special. If you were anywhere within the vicinity of TikTok in late May/early summer, you’re already familiar with her smash hit, “About Damn Time,” where the singer/rapper makes sure we all know that she’ll need “a sentimental man or woman to pump me up.” (I can feel myself wanting to start up the accompanying dance just typing out those lyrics.)
That’s all well and good, but Lizzo drives the point home with her Donna Summers-inspired disco beat, “Everybody’s Gay.” Not only does the title clear any suspicion, but invitations for both men and women to lasciviously meet her in the club amongst a dope beat and ball culture references blow any doubts about her queerness out of the water. Listen to this one if you want to feel like anything’s possible.
Well, that about covers it for now, my darlings! I hope y’all make sure to stay hydrated, stay queer, and keep those hips shaking to the beat!
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