Shonna Smith

I’m a girl that works hard and plays hard. I’m from San Diego California but recently moved to the los Angeles area for school. I go to California polytechnic university of Pomona majoring in business management / human resources. I love doing volunteer work and adore being surrounded by animals. I love to dance, drink, smile, laugh, watch movies, play video games, and soccer.

Being bisexual, to me, means that you find yourself attracted to both men and women. It is not a choice. It is not a faze. When I close my eyes and think about it I find myself sexually attracted to both a male kiss and female kiss.

We are real. We are not confused, we did not chose to be this way, we were born this way. Not all bisexuals are cheaters and take part in polyamory relationships.

My whole life I have found both boys and girls attractive. I came out as being a bisexual the first year of high school. One night, while at a sleepover with one of my girlfriends from kindergarten, we just starting making out under the backlight in her room. This was my first kiss with a woman and it was amazing. I have always been more attracted to men, but I love woman too. For me, it is about 70-30% ratio. Since coming out, I have only had a handful of bisexual friends. Sometimes it gets a bit confusing and isolating. Only until joining Ambi, a few weeks ago, have I felt included.

Honestly it’s hearing the mean phrase “pick a side and stick to it”. I’ve heard it from both the gay and straight community. Part of me wishes I could, so that maybe I would be more accepted. But then the strong part of me says, “No, I was also born this way. There is a B in the LGBT, and we matter too. We are apart of this community so don’t push us aside. This is not a faze.” Lastly, the hardest thing for me is being in a relationship and coping with my attraction. When I’m with a man, I can’t help but miss the soft touch of a woman. When I’m with a female, I miss the strength and passion of the touch of a man. I get really confused a lot, and then I feel guilty for having these thoughts. But I can’t help it, it is who I am.

Absolutely, to me, it is the experiences. There is nothing softer and more natural than a woman’s touch. We understand one another. We can connect on a very deep level. In addition, there is nothing more sensual the the rigid feel of a man. They are strong but gentle. They can be dominate and sweet at the same time. I feel like a cameleon. Take me to a gay club and I fit right in. Take me to a straight club and I’m cool with that too.

Mostly good. My whole family knows. They are all supportive.