Kemi A

I’m an East Coast girl living it up in the West Coast world of California. I’m exploring my bisexuality now in an environment in which I am free to do so and loving every minute of it. I enjoy meeting new people, music, dancing, traveling, and reading.

Being bi to me is not about who you are sleeping with, more of who you fall in love with, not the physical aspect of the person but the spiritual. Bisexuality means opening yourself up to other possibilities, to love who you love without labels.

That we exist, and not just in porn. I feel that bisexuality is kept in the dark and people need to realize it is not a faze and we are human beings just like everyone else.

My path was an unusual one. Growing up I didn’t have any notion that I liked boys and girls, I was a shy child that kept to herself and had few friends. I knew what gay and lesbian meant and that didn’t bother me at all, it wasn’t until in high school that I heard the word “bisexual”. Fast forward to college when I realized I had a crush on a female friend of mine, even then I thought it was just a faze or I was a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). It wasn’t until I got my heart broken by a woman — and later a man — that I realized I was bi; then meeting other bi people I realized, “Why did I have to hide?”

The stereotypes are loud and clear. Many people assumed I was on “the path to being a lesbian” or I was “confused”, or they must’ve been something traumatic that happened to me as a child that made me become bi. I’ve even had friends and family members dismiss my bisexuality, as it was the flavor of the week. I also feel that sometimes we are not supported in the LGBT community; many times I’ve been to events where I was treated with distrust and disgust. It’s still an uphill battle.

I don’t think there’s any “best thing” about being bi; a person who is gay, straight, or lesbian could say their own opinion but I don’t believe one orientation is better than the other. What I can say is that when you meet bi people there is no judgement in regards to who you date or sleep with. We understand the struggles, but at the same time we are open and honest. Not going to lie, it also means I 100% have a date on Saturday nights.

Bisexuality is a part of who I am, it’s not ALL that I am — but it’s a huge part. I don’t feel I need to explain it to them — they don’t need to explain their straightness to me, but I hope by knowing me as a person, their negative perceptions of bisexuality will change.