Ryan Armenta

I’m a college student (Urban Planning major) living in Long Beach, California. I’m also an organizer for a bi Meetup group that serves the greater Los Angeles area.

Acceptance. It means finally knowing who I am, after years of being told I couldn’t possibly be attracted to both women AND men. That I needed to "just pick one already!" I’m free to find happiness on my own terms.

Outside of a few things in the bedroom, we’re exactly like you.

Mine was a tough one. I was in the closet until my early 30s. As an adolescent, I tried my hardest to suppress my attraction to guys. Yet the more I denied it the more I realized it wasn’t ever going to go away. I became very withdrawn and depressed. I seldom dated, and denied myself countless social opportunities because I was afraid of being "outed". Eventually the strain became too much; it led to a nervous breakdown and a suicide attempt. Obviously, it was unsuccessful. But I realized that either I came to terms with who I was (and other problems) or else I wasn’t going to be long for this world. After a couple years of therapy, much introspection and hard work, I finally began the coming out process.

Knowing that a lot of people are unwilling to date you strictly because you’re bisexual.

The people who are willing to date a bisexual are typically far more open-minded and accepting in general. What you give up in quantity is more than made up for in quality.

Mostly positive. I feel lucky to live in a large, progressive metropolitan area like Los Angeles where there are a lot more resources and a large community of other bisexuals. There were those who had a negative reaction, but they’ve, fortunately, been the exception–by a wide margin.