Quit Complaining About Coming Out Posts

By Blaize Stewart

May 24, 2019

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Photo credit: istock/FG Trade

It is safe to say that social media has become ingrained in our society at a level that no one could have ever predicted; it has become the go-to resource for news, networking, art, community connections and much, much more. For the LGBTI community specifically, it is a place where you can connect with others like you, even if they are hundreds or thousands of miles away. For those of us who grew up in smaller, rural communities that lacked LGBTI representation, social media was and remains a way for us to find acceptance, love, and a sense of community.

One huge component of LGBTI activity on social media is coming out posts; I myself came out via social media through an article I wrote for my college’s Greek life newspaper. I still remember how I was feeling the moment I hit the post button, even though it was almost four years ago; I was terrified, exhilarated, anxious, and proud. So many emotions, both positive and negative, were swirling about within me because I knew that once it was out there, there was no going back for me.

Unsplash/Bermix Studio

Though I had only come out to my immediate family and a couple of close friends before posting, I was already emotionally drained and found the prospect of coming out again and again incredibly daunting. Luckily, social media provided me with a way to let everyone know without the repeated emotional toll of coming out to each person in my life individually. What’s more, it provided me with almost instantaneous support; friends, family, and even strangers reached out to me to let me know that I was still loved, still supported, and still seen as the same person I was before.

Without social media, I’m not sure what my coming out process would have looked like. It would have been much longer, more stressful, and more emotionally taxing. There isn’t one thing I would change about how I chose to come out to the world other than hitting that post button much, much sooner in my life. However, in recent years I have noticed a trend amongst some in the LGBTI community that, had I seen these sentiments before my own coming out, would have potentially kept me in the closet for months or years longer.

There are members within the LGBTI community who claim that these coming out posts are pointless, attention-seeking, and “should not be necessary” if we want to live in a world where being LGBTI isn’t a noteworthy event. I’m here to say that I wholeheartedly disagree; if you are in a place in your life where you feel supported, loved, and accepted that is great for you, but that doesn’t make it a universal truth for everyone else. Some people out there are still struggling to find where they belong and you, as a member of the LGBTI community, should not be telling them that seeking out love and acceptance is a detriment to our community.

Pexels/Kampus Production

I for one will never get tired of seeing people proudly proclaiming who they are for the world to see, whether it be online or in person. Days like National Coming Out Day, Bi Visibility Day and others like them have had a huge impact on my life, because they showed me how far from alone I was and am. Some of the complaints I’ve seen lament the fact that their newsfeeds are full of “annoying coming out posts” but I can’t imagine how that would fill you with anything other than happiness, because this level of participation would have been hard to imagine even a few short years ago.

I’m not saying that I universally agree with everything the LGBTI community does on social media, but I am one hundred percent in support of us having a platform to be true to ourselves and connect with others like us.

It would be great if we lived in a world where everyone was equal, regardless of sexual orientation, gender or any other factors our society uses to categorize our communities. But the fact of the matter is, we don’t, and if you are one of the people attempting to shame others into silence about being proud of who they are, you are on the wrong side of history.

I sometimes wonder how my life would have wound up without social media. As a bi man who grew up in rural, central IL, I didn’t have any representation or resources to turn to in order to figure out who I was. However, thanks to social media I was able to find others like me, see them living proudly and, eventually, happily join them as an out and proud bi man. With all the negativity that fills our social media channels, one would think it would be nice to see positive moments like a coming out post on your newsfeed; but if you don’t feel that way, do us all a favor and hit that unfollow button and keep your negativity to yourself.

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